I have never really known how to care about myself. I have always been the person whoes heart aches and breaks when I look into your eyes and hers and his and see pain there. I long to make people happy. I love when people laugh and smile. I like the way their eyes light up. They are colourful like a rainbow. You can not help but become addicted to their happiness
I’m slowly learning that I forgot about me
That your hurtful words are for yourself not me
That I am strong, your strength just a weakness that you would rather have me carry extra baggage I don’t need than to face those demons alone
Who are you?
I thought I knew
Maybe I do
But you hurt me too often
Say things to protect yourself when all you needed to say was...
“I’m sorry”
You challenge
I accept
But when challenged you neglect to answer
You know what I think?
You don’t know the answer because the problem is not mine. It is yours but your too weak to admit it, face it, fix it.
Who are you?
Tonight I know.
The oak tree I believed would stand tall forever, well, it fucking fell apart. Branch by branch it came falling down, landed on my body and the ground.
The same ground I once believed was sacred because you walked there.
Tonight you are the seed that never grows
The wind that never blows
You are lost and scared, afraid, and believing you were crawling under my skin when all along all you were doing was giving me glimpses of your broken self...again.
But to me you are an oak tree that never falls. You are a rose with no thorns because unlike you I see the best in people.
I will always choose to see how good you are.
I will choose to make you the star that I wish upon at night
I think this means I am ok with myself.
Stop pretending that you are.
Or at least
Pretend every day.
You are like multiple personalities. I mean, shit, what can one expect.
The truth, my darling, is that everything you complain about are the things you need to change about yourself
So be a hero... that’s how I see you
And change.
And please don’t expect it to happen in a second, a minute, or a day.
Change takes time
Please
Be easy on me
But more importantly
Go easy on yourself.
You, my darling, deserve the best
But please remember this girl you kick around
This girl you wish would make not a sound
Well
She is not like the rest
She sees the side of you that dreams and loves and with all the courage of the oak tree will face the seasons one by one
She doesn’t test
To her your thorns are sugar coated roses
She would lick your wounds until they’re gone
Listen to your voice all night long
She doesn’t think that she’s the one
To save you, love you, or change you at all.
All I want is for you to love yourself
So like I said
Don’t judge me
Make the changes and please baby
Be easy on yourself.
